“Rock Bottom” a phrase used by many, and something that I wouldn’t wish upon even my worst enemy. I have been there you know…Rock Bottom…and not in the sense that some people claim to have hit rock bottom, I mean truly the very bottom of the barrel, where you can’t get any lower or any worse off than you are right at that moment…not the “mom and dad cut me off, oh my god I have to pay my own bills” type of rock bottom.
It started with the typical teenage attitude and rebellion, which lead to no longer living at home…or anywhere else for that matter. Sure, I had the “freedom” that most teens want, but was it really freedom, and at what cost did it come?
No, that freedom turned into sleepless nights, walking the streets of downtown because I didn’t want to fall asleep on the streets, for fear of what I KNEW could happen. It turned into wondering when I would have my next meal, or shower. It turned into drugs and alcohol, and seeking some kind of BS version of solace and protection from people that caused me nothing but harm and pain…it turned into years of physical, mental, and emotional abuse. It turned into having someone violate my person, in a way that made me feel disgusting and unworthy.
Rock Bottom…oh yeah, I had found it, its what wanting my freedom as a teenager brought me. Its what wanting to grow up too fast, but not having the maturity, money, or common sense to handle growing up that fast, brought me…Rock friggin Bottom.
I could scar you with the intimate details of some of my time as a homeless teen, but I will spare you the ugliness, especially this close to the Holidays. What I can say, is that I am eternally grateful for my husband, who saved me from Rock Bottom…I will tell you all about that later.
I can say that I grew from hitting rock bottom…it made me the woman, wife, mother, and friend, that I am today. I learned from my struggles, and I put everything I am into making sure that those I love, don’t have to experience what I did.
Just keep this in mind…try not to judge people, especially those living on the streets, you have no idea what circumstances brought them to where they are. Instead be thankful that you either have never hit rock bottom, or that you managed to climb your way out of that hole.